The Start of June.

Me, my husband, and our kids went swimming at the beach. That was the first time in three years we got to go out and swim. Really to get out in public as a family. It's been rough being cooped up in the house. Between being pregnant, giving birth, and the surgery I had last year. Father-in-law passing away and Mother-in-law moving in our home. That's another story in it's own.

When I was pregnant with Ruby. I couldn't do much without feeling like I was going to get sick or pass out. The third trimester, I didn't find out until it was almost to late that I had preeclampsia. When my OB found out we went ahead and scheduled an induction date.

Three weeks before sissy's due date. I went into the hospital to get the induction. The process went fine. After I finally delivered Ruby. I began to hemorrhage. Lost so much, I was one point off from needing a blood transfusion.

About a week after finding out I had preeclampsia. Back to the hospital I went with stomach pain. I thought it was sissy at first. Come to find out it was my gallbladder and I had gallstones. Which is pretty common. Still an absolute pain.

After 5 days in the hospital. I was maybe home for two weeks until I had to go back. My gallbladder was causing me issues this time. We went ahead and scheduled surgery to get it removed.

Fast forward to now, ten months later. Everything is going well and healing nicely. I've had to change my lifestyle completely after that. But having to deal with the scars from the surgery, really damaged my self esteem. Speaking of self esteem. I didn't realize how much weight I've gained. At minimum, I need to lose twenty pounds. That is almost three to five months of consistently working out. That alone smacked my emotions like a ton of bricks. I can make many excuses why it would be difficult to achieve that goal, but in reality it's just me needing to make lifestyle changes.

With that being said. What I was trying to get to about the beach in the beginning. My self esteem has become trash enough I made my husband give me his shirt so I could cover up my stomach. Not even worried about the fact I hadn't shaved in a month.